THE REALM OF UNREALITY: AN INCEST MEMOIR IN ESSAYS (Digital)

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There is no way to talk about incest without feeling that you are lying. This is because incest lives in the realm of unreality and everything in the realm of unreality cannot be thought or said or named. When you speak of things that happen in the realm of unreality it will always feel like a lie and be treated like a lie. You are breaking the fundamental rule. You are not allowed to talk about what goes on in the realm of unreality because it isn’t real.

These essays break the spell of unreality, pulling the unspeakable things from their wrapping in silence and bursting them across the page. These essays define incest as a whole family dynamic, not as a discrete dynamic between perpetrator and victim. These essays understand incest beyond sexual assault, and shine light on the many ways incest is enacted outside of physical sexual assault. These essays reveal incest as a pattern that repeats until someone faces it and transforms it. Exploding secrecy, silence, shame, and taboo, these essays tell the truth about incest.

"Your words are more powerful than even the State could be. You have defeated silence. Behind you, many will keep speaking the words your mother seeks to erase. I am writing from France, where I've been translated your Incest and Monstrous Daughters essays - I will send you the final translations in a couple days. The early translations inspired close friends who are incest survivors to talk to me and others, and we soon will hold a group for survivors to talk among us. All stemming from your writing. Your words hold immense power. You might be threatened, even impeded. But the silence can never fall again." -- Reader response to one of the essays in this collection.

"You are unraveling the ties that keep humanity stuck in cycles of violence and acknowledging the real love and care that perseveres despite the evil." -- Reader response to one of the essays in this collection.

"I value your work in its capacity to evoke profound healing and grief. Until now I didn’t have the courage to say I am an incest survivor. " -- Reader response to one of the essays in this collection.

"It took me a long time to read this beautiful writing because I had to pause between each individual sentence for crying spells. thank you for this release, and thank you for creating community around this wound." -- Reader response to one of the essays in this collection.

"Reading this makes me feel so much joy that people are talking about this topic in this way- what the fuck is crazy? what the fuck is wrong with it? why the fuck are we judging highly skilled survival skills? Thank you so much for your vulnerability, I'm feeling so empowered reading your work." -- Reader response to one of the essays in this collection.

"Reading this is bursting my unreality bubble. I have been living in two worlds and practicing double-think for so many years. I can't tell you how much it means to read the truth from someone who has also experienced it." -- Reader response to one of the essays in this collection.

"You open windows I did not know existed. Thank you." -- Reader response to one of the essays in this collection.

"Continually, I have never read such specific, honest and impactful writing that describes my childhood experiences with incest as I do in your pieces. Thank you for this series." -- Reader response to one of the essays in this collection.

"whoa. i’ve worried for years about having repressed memories. i never considered that i was actually traumatized by ‘jokes’, comments about my body and appearance, ‘play’ fighting and touching, and lack of boundaries around sexual subjects. i... have a lot to talk about in therapy this week." -- Reader response to one of the essays in this collection.

"You are honestly a beacon of light . I am humbled by you. Thank you for your art and willingness to do this work and then translate it so beautifully so others can learn from and with you. Your essays help me to be more courageous with my own dedication to authenticity, forgiveness and unflinching gaze, and it honestly fills my heart knowing so many other people are reading them too." -- Reader response to one of the essays in this collection.

"Beautiful and terrifying. Heartfelt and electrifying. This is a lesson I find I sometimes need a refresher in." -- Reader response to one of the essays in this collection.